fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
