What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
