The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
