Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
is it fun? or sober?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize