There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize