you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
