just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
nutella sex= disaster
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
