This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
