BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
