I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
