i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
