There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize