All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
