ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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