I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
This baby is an asshole
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
