Swine flu is the new snow day.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
FUCK WHALES
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
