I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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