Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
