i may or may not be watching the land before time
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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