Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
