yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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