A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
