considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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