You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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