I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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