you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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