So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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