I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
porn star boner night. come get it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
