So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
