my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
