Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
