well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
