I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
