there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
