All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think your dad took our porno
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
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