Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
