I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
This is my gift to your gina
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
