I smell stomach acid.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize