It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
