i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
