Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
