I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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