at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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