i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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