2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize