well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize