So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
