I cockslap morals
I have demons in me.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
