weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
