I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize