Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
