Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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