Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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