I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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