So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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