His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize