the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize