Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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