dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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