frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think I sprained my soul last night
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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