Screwed.edu
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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