I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
