No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
